The Haunting Real Stalker & Abuse Behind The Netflix Show

Summary

• “Baby Reindeer” on Netflix is a chilling true story of stalking and abuse, with a captivating aura similar to true-crime documentaries.
• Richard Gadd’s experience with his real-life stalker inspired the series, exploring the complex dynamics of being a victim of relentless harassment.
• The series sheds light on flaws in the handling of stalking cases by police and challenges the traditional portrayal of stalkers as sinister villains.

The Netflix show Baby Reindeer is based on a true story of a haunting real stalker and abuse. The Baby Reindeer cast includes Richard Gadd, Jessica Gunning, Nava Mau, and Tom Goodman-Hill in the lead roles. It is an adaptation of a solo stage production of the same name by Gadd, who draws from his own harrowing encounter with a real-life stalker. The series has a captivating aura akin to popular true-crime documentaries on Netflix, although with added layers of fictionalization.

Written by Gadd and directed by Weronika Tofilska and Josephine Bornebusch, Baby Reindeer makes for very disturbing and discomfiting viewing. The series follows Donny Dunn, a Scottish aspiring comedian and writer, who struggles to find success. One fateful day, Martha enters Donny’s pub in tears, prompting him to extend a comforting gesture by offering her a cup of tea. This seemingly innocuous act marks the beginning of a series of disastrous decisions as Martha becomes more infatuated with him. Baby Reindeer has a creepy, eerie feel to it, which makes sense given how distressing the true story behind it is.

How “Martha” Stalked Richard Gadd In Real Life

She sent him 41,071 emails over three years.

When Gadd first met the real-life Martha (a pseudonym), he was going through a difficult time, not least because his career was going horribly and no one was laughing at his jokes. Martha, however, found him hilarious, which gave him immense validation. Gadd was also feeling a lack of belonging at the bar he worked at and felt disconnected from people. In that context, Martha’s instant attraction to him made him feel extremely seen and affirmed. Her complete and unabashed affection for him was initially exactly what he needed, and he proceeded to indulge and seek comfort in her.

For Gadd, the story is a morally ambiguous tale of two troubled individuals caught in each other’s hold, unable to break free. “It would be unfair to say she was an awful person and I was a victim,” he said to The Guardian, reflecting a more complex dynamic between Martha and him. One complicating element, of course, was gender: Gadd’s narrative flips the typical roles seen in harassment stories, with the male as the aggressor and the female the victim. Although there were instances when he feared for his safety, he remained physically stronger than his harasser.

“The feeling you get most of all when you’re getting harassed is relentless tediousness and frustration,” Gadd said
.

Additionally, Gadd confesses that he, too, made many mistakes during the process and was far from a perfect person. Yet, he was without a doubt a victim of stalking. Gadd soon realized Martha’s obsessive nature and tried to get out of it, but couldn’t. Martha stalked him for four and a half years, completely encroaching on his life, following him everywhere, showing up at his performances, and waiting outside his house. She sent him a total of 41,071 emails, 350 hours of voicemail, 744 Tweets, 46 Facebook messages, and 106 pages of letters. It was relentless. “The feeling you get most of all when you’re getting harassed is relentless tediousness and frustration,” Gadd said.

Why The Police Took So Long To Act On Donny/Richard Being Stalked

They Couldn’t Understand How A Young, Fit Man Could Be Threatened By A Woman

The police took a very long time to act and help Gadd as he was being stalked. When Gadd first approached them for help, they couldn’t comprehend that he, a young and fit man, could be threatened by a woman. For Gadd, this is a result of the media portraying stalking in a glamorous light, especially when a woman stalks a man. It’s perceived as less physically threatening, less common, and is trivialized. Not only did Gadd struggle to explain the issue to the police, but they also did not have the power to take any action unless Martha physically attacked him.

Gadd had to meticulously record and sift through all of Martha’s messages to pinpoint instances of direct threats. This undertaking consumed him. Gadd’s story reflects a larger issue: the number of recorded stalking offenses has more than trebled since 2014, while its prosecution rates have nosedived. Only 6.6 percent of reported stalkers face charges, and a mere 1.4 percent are convicted. Between 2015 and 2023, over 80 percent of stalking cases in London were inaccurately categorized, often resulting in victims being dismissed and made to feel as though they were needlessly worrying about their safety. “I was getting told off for harassing the police about being harassed,” said Gadd.

Only 6.6 percent of reported stalkers face charges, and a mere 1.4 percent are convicted. Between 2015 and 2023, over 80 percent of stalking cases in London were inaccurately categorized, often resulting in victims being dismissed and made to feel as though they were needlessly worrying about their safety.

Yet, Gadd doesn’t antagonize the police or blame them for his enduring difficulties. For him, the issues with the police reflect the wider dearth of funding, inadequate training, and skewed understanding of harassment. Gadd’s attention to wider systemic issues rather than blaming individual people makes Baby Reindeer extremely nuanced and mature television. His empathetic attitude also extends to Martha herself.

Why Richard Gadd Sees Martha As A Victim, Not A Villain

He Views Stalking As A Mental Illness

Gadd’s experience of stalking and harassment is absolutely horrifying, debilitating even. However, he insists that Martha also should not be blamed for it, and that she is a victim, not a villain. “I cannot stress enough how much of a victim she is in all of this,” Gadd said to The Independent. He criticizes the media representation of stalking and stalkers, which has created unfounded images in people’s minds based on films like Misery and Fatal Attraction. For him, a stalker is not a sinister entity hiding in the darkness, but is most often a past relationship, acquaintance, or coworker. The intimacy and familiarity only make it more thorny to navigate.

More importantly, Gadd views stalking and harassment as manifestations of mental illness. Portraying her as a villain would have felt unjust to him, as Martha is unwell, and the system has failed her. In this sense, he laments that Martha never received the mental health interventions she desperately needed, and instead, ended up projecting her trauma and pain onto him for over four years.

What Happened To Donny/Richard’s Stalker In Real-Life

The Real-Life Martha is Still At Large

In Baby Reindeer, Martha is sentenced to nine months in prison and receives a five-year restraining order. In reality, on the other hand, Gadd didn’t want to imprison someone who was that mentally unwell. He is not at liberty to divulge much information, but he has confirmed that the situation is largely resolved. Two and a half years into the stalking itself, Gadd was able to secure a restraining order against her. However, Martha is still freely roaming the streets and, until recently, has continued to harass his family and friends.

Fortunately, publicizing the story through his show and the Netflix series has not led to an escalation of Martha’s actions. Gadd speculates that media exposure has given her pause, making her reconsider her behavior. For him, the most important takeaway should be that harassers require support rather than just punishment.

Richard’s Sexual Assault & Previous Show Explained

His Previous Stand-Up Show Was Titled Monkey See Monkey Do

In the fourth episode of Baby Reindeer, Gadd delves into another painful chapter of his life preceding the stalking: his experience of sexual assault, which he’d previously transformed into the stage production Monkey See Monkey Do, a solo multimedia show he performed at Banshee Labyrinth, Edinburgh. In it, Gadd relentlessly paced on a treadmill to run away from his anxiety and trauma, as he gradually recounted these painful events and the toll they had taken on him. Similar to Hannah Gadsby’s Nanette, Gadd’s show was criticized for not being consistently funny enough, and for being more theater than comedy.

Yet Monkey See Monkey Do was a tremendous success and received an overwhelmingly positive reception. The Guardian called it “ruthlessly explicit” and “undeniably compelling,” a “a lurid, unsparing portrait of a consciousness in meltdown, as the clock ticks on the most tightly held secret of his life.” Gadd also won the Edinburgh Comedy award for the show. For him, more importantly, it was therapeutic to write and perform this show, as it helped him process and make sense of his traumatic experiences. Baby Reindeer, too, began as a solo theater show, featuring Gadd sharing his experiences with Martha.

While the sexual assault and stalking were distinct experiences, Gadd believes that the emotional distress of the assault created the conditions for his twisted relationship with Martha to develop. When Martha first appears in episode 1, many viewers might wonder why Donny is engaging with her. For Gadd, this cringe-inducing feeling is necessary, and the audience must question his actions. However, by the time Martha reappears at the end of episode 4, Gadd hopes that the viewer will understand Donny’s masculinity crisis and, by extension, why he behaves the way he does.

What Netflix’s Baby Reindeer Changes From The True Story

Gadd Wanted To Retain The Emotional Truth Of The Story

Although it is an entirely unfathomable true story, certain elements have been altered to enhance the coherence of the television production. These changes include the rearrangement of timelines to improve narrative flow. Ultimately, adapting a solo theater show into a 7-episode Netflix miniseries is no mean feat. For Gadd, it was most important to maintain the emotional truth of the story and the integrity of the characters’ essence. The specific details about people that he modified were largely to safeguard them and mitigate the risk of exposing everyone to undue vulnerability.

Even Jessica Gunning, who portrays Martha, deliberately refrained from delving too deeply into the real person’s background as it wouldn’t serve her portrayal. Rather than trying to mimic her, Gunning wanted to provide an independent and thoughtful rendition of the character based on the screenplay Gadd wrote. Beyond the morality of the story and the gendered debates around stalking and harassment, Gadd hopes that the deeply personal, autobiographical Baby Reindeer touches people and emotionally moves them, providing a source of comfort and catharsis for those who have experienced similarly baffling trauma. It certainly served that purpose for him.

Sources: The Guardian, The Independent, RadioTimes, The Times, and Still Watching Netflix.

All seven episodes of
Baby Reindeer
are available to stream on Netflix.